Two Delicious & Anti-Inflammatory Recipes for Your Weekend

Hi my loves!

It’s almost the weekend already, ahhhh! Where has the week gone?! And like really, where has the month gone? It is wild to me how fast August has flown by, and that it’s already Labor Day Weekend.

And on that note, that my wedding is now basically two months away… my bachelorette in one month… and by November I will be a married woman on my honeymoon! Absolutely wild. Exciting in the best way, and just crazy how fast time can go.

It has been a big week over here in TBB world. I had my last new podcast solo episode go live before the hiatus I will be taking for the rest of the year, and it has been EMOTIONAL. I feel relieved, excited, devastated, uneasy, and slightly unsure about my decision all at once. In my heart I know that I made this decision from a deep place of necessity, but it’s still hard & sad to step away.

Anyway, more on that another day. Most of this week has been dedicated to resting after my bridal shower last weekend (which was amazing and so special), and to doing some wedding planning & prepping for Hawaii next week! Eek!

Recipe Tiiiime!! & HEALTH BENEFIT TALK of MATCHA & TURMERIC //

Today I am going to share some DELISH recipes with you that have been getting me through the last few weeks, featuring one of my current favorite brands FURTHER FOOD. And the amazing thing is, they are offering 20% off to all TBB readers as a special LDW discount using the code BLONDE at this link!

What you need, need from their site is the Turmeric Tonic & Mindful Matcha. I will give you some recipes using them below, but first I want to tell you why they are so awesome.

First of all they are both vegan, ethically sourced, and packed with the highest quality ingredients. The brand sources all of their ingredients themselves – they literally know their wheatgrass farm. I mean, how amazing is that?!

TURMERIC TONIC BENEFITS //

In addition, they are both 100% sugar-free. Which for my SOS-free lifestyle is an actual must. Their Turmeric Tonic is the only golden milk blend on the market to be 100% sugar-free, so obviously when I heard that I went crazy because I could finalllllyyy hop on this golden milk train!

This is a good reminder that it’s important for people to really read the ingredients on products, because a lot of brands (even big brands!) throw in maltodextrin or other forms of sugar. Their blends taste amazing on their own, vibrant, clean, and DELICIOUS!

Their Turmeric Tonic is boosted with yummy herbs like cinnamon, cloves, ginger, cardamom, black pepper for max absorption, and boswellia (for pain relief) and schisandra berry (for immunity). Their Turmeric Tonic fights inflammation in the skin, bones, joints, and gut, boosts immunity, helps to prevent colds, and aids in digestion.

MINDFUL MATCHA BENEFITS //

Thennnn their Mindful Matcha (also, isn’t that a cute name?) is boosted with ashwagandha, cordyceps mushrooms, wheatgrass and ginger. All of which I am obsessed with for many reasons. Matcha with it’s naturally occurring L-theanine, when combined with ashwagandha and cordyceps promotes daily stress and anxiety relief along a sense of focus and energy without the jitters.

THIS BRAND IS AWESOME //

Also a little about the brand, Further Food is one of the only women-owned & operated supplement company on the market. They donate a portion of their proceeds each year to a chronic illness non-profit within their community. In addition, they are the only supplement company that has committed to creating 100% post-consumer recycled and eco-friendly packaging for our supplements within the next 3 years.

HOW FREAKIN’ COOL IS THAT?!?!?

I love them. Like on all levels, I really, realllllly love them.

& they are super kind people! This is a huge plus and always a must in my book.

OKAY NOW RECIPE TIME FOR REAL!

TURMERIC TONIC OATMEAL DELICIOUSNESS //

I have been really loving blending the Turmeric Tonic with delicious, warming oatmeal and making a yummy adaptogenic superfood oatmeal breakfast. It’s simple, delicious, anti-inflammatory, and gut-friendly. My sensitive stomach has been loving all of the warming herbs in the morning.

This is amazing for de-bloating and aiding with digestion, so this is the perfect pre or post-weekend (especially holiday weekend) go-to.

The recipe is super simple. All you need is…

Ingredients //

1/2 cup gluten-free rolled oats

1 scoop Further Foods Turmeric Tonic (code BLONDE for discount)

1 cup water or nut milk (I love using a rich, creamy cashew mylk)

Optional toppings: cinnamon, coconut shreds, cacao nibs, bananas, anything you desire!

Method //

Boil the oats in water or nut milk until thoroughly cooked, and then stir in the Turmeric Tonic. Top with whichever oatmeal toppings you desire, and enjoy!

SUPER CRAEAMY MINDFUL MATCHA LATTE //

This goes well with the oatmeal or all on its own. And because matcha is a clean source of caffeine, I can have this a bit later in the afternoon as well without being up all night. But mostly I prefer my matcha in the mornings with my breakfast or while journaling, stretching, or meditating.

This Matcha blend is the ULTIMATE DETOX (after LDW, anyone?!) because of the wheatgrass and ashwagandha that it has.

Ingredients //

1/2 cup creamy cashew milk (or nut milk of choice)

1/2 cup hot water

1 scoop Mindful Matcha (code BLONDE for a discount)

Method //

Heat the water in a tea kettle or over the stove until nice & hot, and then add the nut milk into a frother if you have one. I like to stir the matcha into the hot water (or blend if you prefer), pour into a mug, and then pour the frothed nut milk over the matcha! YUMMMMM enjoy that creaminess and the clean energy you will get from it!

Okay, there you have it! Two anti-inflammatory recipes that are great for de-bloating and aiding with digestion. I hope you love them as much as I do. Be sure to use the code BLONDE at this link to support the incredible brand Further Food, who I am so honored to have partnered with on this post! What are you loves up to this weekend?!

The Future of Milk is Plant Milk! + Mushroom Coffee Recipe

Hi my loves! Man oh MAN has it been a whirlwind of a few weeks… I will get into what this major rock bottom (see my previous post) has been teaching me in a post either tomorrow or in a few days.

For now, I want to focus on a yummy recipe and keep things light hearted and wellness focused for today.

This post is sponsored by the fab Bolthouse Farms® and I am so grateful.

I have been saying this for so long now and I feel like the world is finally catching up with the trend (hehe)- the future of MILK is PLANT MILK!

What does that mean? The world is moving from dairy milk to plant-based milks and I am ALL FOR IT.

There are so many yummy dairy-free milks on the market right now, from almond to oat to cashew to hemp to flax to PEA PROTEIN mylk. But Pea Protein is hands down the most nutritious, for a few reasons which we will get into.

Today we are talking all about the pea protein life, via Bolthouse Farms® which I have been super into for the last few months. I have been using it to make my morning adaptogenic mushroom lattes (heaven), my daily smoothies, my favorite low-glycemic açaí bowls, and more.

And now that I am healing from this wild Lyme cavitation surgery, I am even more into the anti-inflammatory life hacks (like plant milk and adaptogenic coffee… the topics of this post!).

Also, Jonathan uses it with his favorite cereals and granolas and ends up drinking the whole thing EVERY TIME. I feel like that’s such a typical husband / fiancé / boyfriend move, no?! LOL.

Sooo the amazing thing about Bolthouse Farms® in particular is that pea protein is an incredibly nutrient-rich source to make plant based milks from. Their dairy-free milk is vegan, non-GMO, sustainable, and the version I drink is sugar-free. They have plenty of flavors but you know in this household we always go for unsweetened to support my sugar-free, healing lifestyle.

Ya ready for me to hit you with those nutrition facts?!

+ Bolthouse Farms® has 10 grams of pea protein per 8 oz. serving vs. only 1 gram of protein per serving in almond milk (wow, who knew?!)

+ They have 50% more calcium than dairy milk (yes, dairy industry, I am looking at you!!) per 8. oz serving, so you are not compromising your nutrient value when you go for the plant mylk!

+ Pea protein is rich in iron, arginine and branched-chain amino acids and offers benefits like improved muscle growth, immunity boost, feelings of fullness and heart health.

+ BolthouseFarms® Plant Protein Milk is non-GMO and doesn’t contain dairy, lactose, nuts, soy, carrageenan, or gluten.

Plus it tastes amazing. There is no reason to not go plant-based when it comes to milk in my opinion!

I am super passionate about supporting plant forward companies whenever possible. For the animals, the environment, and our carbon footprint, going plant-based wherever you can in your diet is an amazing choice. Not to mention for your own health. And in my opinion it honestly tastes better.

What I have learned from my own healing journey is that the plant-based way of life is so healing, anti-inflammatory, immune-supportive, nutrient-rich, and supportive for those of us on the path to feeling better. With Lyme I suffer from so much joint pain, fatigue, migraines, etc. and regular dairy used to make that a whole lot worse for me.

One of my favorite things to make with this delicious pea protein milk is my morning adaptogenic latte! Talk about a massive boost of nutrients — on top of the pea protein benefits, I am fueling my body every morning with high quality adaptogens, herbs, and delicious dandelion root. You ready for this? Recipe below!

Morning Adaptogenic Latte //

Ingredients //

1 cup Bolthouse Farms® Pea Protein Milk (unsweetened)

1/4 cup hot water

1 scoop Mushroom Coffee of choice

1 scoop “Dandy Blend” dandelion root (tastes like coffee / has hints of chicory!)

1 full dropper of stevia

1 large dash cinnamon

Method //

Heat up the 1/4 cup water on the stove or in a tea kettle if you have one. Add the adaptogenic coffee mix and the dandy blend to the hot water.

Add the 1 cup Bolthouse Farms® Pea Protein Milk to a frother (if you have one) to heat and froth! If you don’t or if you prefer a handheld frother (or none), simply heat the mylk as you wish.

Pour the frothed mylk into the hot water + coffee + dandelion root mixture, add stevia, add cinnamon, and ENJOY!

I mean… could this get any more simple?! I don’t think so. Delicious and packed full of nutrients! You can find this Bolthouse Farms Pea Protein Milk on their site and check out the store locator there too.

This is the future of milk!! Who agrees?! Let me know if you want the açaí bowl recipe next!

My Health Scare, The Ultimate Rock Bottom, & Moving Forward

Hi my loves. AHHH, where to even begin here?

Well… I feel like there has been an elephant sitting on my chest for days now and that the pressure is finally lifting.

Actually the elephant has been there for a really long time and I just haven’t allowed myself to fully feel it or the immense weight it has been crushing my heart and soul with. Recently I have finally felt it all — a wall caved in, something in me broke, and the floodgates opened.

Big time. I felt it all, kicked and screamed and sobbed on the floor, cried it all out, let everything go, and I am… beginning to feel better from it.

Now that the weight is beginning to lift… I can breathe again. I am still questioning myself and feeling really uneasy with this new shift, but I am allowing the shift to come. I am allowing myself to explore it. I am allowing change to finally happen.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while then you know I have been very sick for almost two years. I was healthy and thriving when I started this blog, then sick but functioning, then sick and not really functioning, then sick and not functioning at all with no answers, and then I finally had answers, and now… for over a year… I have been healing.

I know, I know. If you’re already aware of my journey, trust me – I am sick of telling the same old story. I am sick of living the same old story. I am so, so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Chronic illness makes you feel debilitated in so many ways, but mostly in the sense that it just DOESN’T go away. There is no real relief. There is relief for days, weeks sometimes even, but it always comes back. And while I am a firm believer in healing and that I will 100% heal (I KNOW I WILL), my health history up until now doesn’t really show that trajectory. It’s pretty soul crushing.

Rock Bottom & What it Taught Me //

So the reason this elephant weight is lifting off of my chest is because I have finally, finally, FINALLLYYYYYYYYY made the decision to put myself first. Unapologetically and truly, in all of the ways.

It is so hard. Honestly the hardest thing I have ever done. I am spending 95% of my time in bed. I am allowing myself to heal, not just from surgery but from this disease. I am letting my phone ring and ring without answering it. I am continuing to miss big life events of important people in my life and while it crushes me, it is my only option.

And most of all, definitely the biggest of all, I have decided to put a pause on my podcast for the rest of the year.

I know…. I am crushed. I wish it didn’t have to come to that. But I know that it does. Even through my sickest, worst, most awful days, I released episodes. Even when I took “two months off” last year I didn’t really take the time off, I was still releasing old episodes and recording ads for all of them.

And this time I am going to release old episodes too, for a few months, but then for a few months I am going totally dark and I know while it scares the shit out of me, I also know it’s the right move.

I will be back for SEASON TWO of the Soul on Fire Podcast in 2020 and you guys won’t know what hit you. I am going to be full of energy, full of life, full of zest, and have a wonderfullll time chatting with my guests and actually have the energy and the bandwidth inside of me to do so.

I honestly and truly cannot wait.

(I still have a handful of already recorded episodes that will come out for the next 3-4 weeks or so, so there is still some newness with great guests to look forward to for now.)

Otherwise… letting myself rest, letting go of this death grip I have had on my identity and reality as a blogger/podcaster/who I have seen myself to be for so long, is going to be so unbelievably good for me.

I am over the moon about taking this time truly off and to myself even though it SCARES ME! But the elephant on my chest lifts higher and higher the more that I think about it.

Rock Bottom Itself //

Ugh. I hesitate to even write about this. It was such a very intimate and horrifying event. I wrote about it on my Instagram, and I want to share just a bit of it here too because I really hope that by being open about it, it can help some of you. Also because I have shared so much of my life and illness until this point it feels funny not to share this, since it is really the catalyst for so much impending change.

You guys know I had the Lyme cavitation oral surgery last week on four different parts of my mouth (from previous wisdom teeth sites, which I saw on FB I had removed 11 years ago TODAY which is so insanely wild / universe vibey) and while the surgery itself was fine yet very painful… the detox I have experienced has been intense and brutal.

We are getting the toxins that were removed from the surgery biopsied so I will find out in a few weeks what exactly they are — mold, heavy metals, Lyme, parasites… what have you, but let’s just say whatever it is has been affecting my brain and body big time.

Before I went to sleep I took a lot of different things — my usual supplements, chlorella (a LOT of chlorella, too much chlorella I now realize) to soak up the toxins, my pain medication, and also THC.

Without getting into too much detail (too painful… too soon), in the middle of the night, I woke up and couldn’t move. Couldn’t see. Couldn’t feel my body except for my heart beating out of my chest and insane pain shooting through every organ and muscle and bone. Everything was black and fuzzy. I was seeing red, then white, then pure black. I thought I was having a stroke, a heart attack, or both.

One thing for sure is that I thought I was dying.

I went into the bathroom before it all hit me to try to get my bearings, and that is when I realized my body was shutting down. I screamed for Jonathan, he helped me through a LOT, and then we called my mom and she came downstairs (the perks of living in the same building as family).

I was screaming for Jonathan to call my doctor or call an ambulance but we really just didn’t know what was going on. It mimicked a panic attack and J and my mom weren’t sure what to do. There was no right or wrong — but if you find yourself in this situation, 100% call 911.

They stayed with me while I slipped in and out of consciousness. One moment I felt sort of okay, the next moment my heart was racing, my brain was throbbing and buzzing, I couldn’t see, and I felt like I was falling into a black hole. They stayed up, holding my hands, reminding me to breathe, until the worst of it continued to pass.

I was awake all night after that – if I closed my eyes, I would go into a spinning dizzy black hole and experience the worst nausea / panic I have ever known. It came in waves — the heart racing and the stroke-like feeling in my brain. The worst of it all was the beginning of it in the bathroom, feeling like every organ in my body was shutting down. Completely.

The next morning I looked up the reaction between my pain medication and THC. It was in the red zone for DO NOT TAKE TOGETHER. The combination frequently causes heart attack, stroke, coma, and death.

Whatever it was that I experienced, it was the closest I have ever come to feeling like I was dying. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes.

One day, when I have more distance from the situation, I will write about it in greater detail. I gained a lot of insights and was visited by many angels, guides, and even demons. I kid you not. I don’t know what it is that you believe in, but when you have a near death experience like this — the things you see are…. unbelievable and very hard to articulate. (Even for me, who is obsessed with articulating everything.)

Just know that one day, in a BOOK, I will share more.

I know that’s what this whole journey is for.

To go through it myself and help other people.

Write a book about it, and so much more.

The path of the wounded healer.

It is never easy, at all, but it is my path and I am honored to be on this path.

I am determined to see the gift in it, even on my darkest days.

If you think any of this sounds… well… like a fascinating rollercoaster of ups and downs, it’s mostly just a down. I have given up my life for this disease, I am mourning the death of my old life, I have hit a rock bottom so dark and painful I didn’t even know I could go there. I have experienced a depression from this disease that I really did NOT believe or think my mind would have the capacity to feel.

I see, with 100% clarity, why there are people taking their own lives every single day of every single year.

I know my path is to be here on this earth, I know it with my whole heart, but trust me when I say that I understand on a deep level why this life can be too much for people.

It is brave as hell to go through this.

Myself, all of the people who walk beside me, all who came before me, and all who will come after me — are brave as hell.

There are gifts in the dark corners of this experience. You get to see who your true friends are. The ones who show up in your darkest hour and stay, no matter what. And those who run the other way because there is nothing fun, nothing easy, and nothing normal about this situation. It’s really just messy and shitty from all angles.

Another gift is, you get to reevaluate your life.

Beyond taking a break from my podcast, I will be doing LESS in all areas. Dropping the pressure I have put on myself for so long — as a blogger, podcaster, friend, family member, fiancé, all of it.

I am enough. It’s okay if I disappoint people. It kills me, but it’s okay. The true, real, core people have always understood it and they always will.

My dear friends and healers Kelsey Patel, MaryAnn DiMarco, and Bree Melanson have all channeled very similar things for me during this time — DOING LESS & dropping the pressure. And a lot of other things.

The gifts are endless, truly. But I will talk about those another day.

As far as social media, I will continue to use it consciously because our community keeps me going and gives me strength. I am going to try to cut back on the time I spend on my phone for sure, and email, and technology as a whole. But in a conscious and mindful way, I would like to stay connected and keep sharing.

Plus, upcoming wedding…!

Over the weekend I had a lot of time to think. I sobbed on my shower floor for a good many hours. Sobbed HARD. I thought about EVERYTHING. I wrote ferociously in my phone, and will share a bit of it with you at the end of this post.

I thought a lot about my wedding coming up, in just 84 short days.

I thought about how little I have been able to contribute to the planning experience.

I thought about my mom picking up my wedding dress because I have been glued to my bed and the fact that I haven’t even seen it yet.

I thought about my almost husband doing all of the planning with our planner, invitation designer, the venue, and more.

I thought about this once in a lifetime, momentous day to celebrate my forever union with the man of my dreams.

I thought about looking back on this day in 5, 10, 50+ years… and how the one thing that will matter is whether I felt okay and healthy enough to be there and to enjoy it.

I am strong, and very tough. I push through everything. Every day is me pushing through. Working and podcasting for the last two years is me PUSHING through. I have learned to take a lot of downtime, but absolutely no one (including myself most of the time) quite understands or sees how hard I have pushed to continue to live and do things while feeling this way.

I do not want to look back on my wedding day and think, “God, I wish I would have allowed myself to take a break and get strong and healthy again for even just a few months.”

I am desperate to be just a little bit stronger, do some yoga, exercise again before my wedding. ANYTHING.

I see people talking about their “wedding body” and “sweating for the wedding” (nothing wrong with that), and I am over here like… I fucking pray I will be able to walk down the aisle and last though the wedding weekend without being in crippling pain and crushed by detrimental exhaustion.

But I too want to be healthy and strong on that day! More than anything. I know the physical and mental benefits of exercise. I am dying to get back to it, even in a very low impact kind of way.

So as I have said to my best friend 100 times throughout this experience, if all I do for the next 3 months is rest, go to yoga, and see the very closest people to me — then I will be happy. And that is really not what I have been doing up until this point. I have been doing so much, and it really has not included yoga, rest, or prioritzing.

On that new list does not really include work. I NEED to let go of that, at least for right now.

I know this is turning into a very stream of consciousness post, but when you lay in your bed and sob into your future husband’s arms about how terrified you are for your upcoming wedding because you thought and hoped and prayed you’d be healthier by now — you realize a lot of shit you thought mattered, doesn’t matter.

OUR HEALTH IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

Rock bottom is teaching me so much.

Yesterday afternoon I laid on the couch, thought about my clear schedule due to everything I am having to cancel, read a magazine and felt happy, truly happy, for the first time in so long.

I felt no pressure, for the first time in so long.

And guess what? The people who are meant to be in your life, will always get it. I am missing one of my best friend in the universe’s bachelorette next weekend, which is devastating and there is no way around that, but no one has been kinder or more supportive than her. (Clare, I love you.)

I know that anyone who doesn’t get it, just has never had to walk in these shoes and can’t fathom the compassion that is needed in order to try to understand it. But I am blessed to be surrounded by a handful of people with the biggest hearts and the most wholehearted compassion I have ever known. Plus, Clare and I are going to have the best re-do bachelorette before her wedding just the two of us and I am going to be so healthy and I can already see it now.

I choose to focus on that gratitude. I choose to focus on love, in my darkest days and beyond. ESPECIALLY on my darkest days.

Because I know I will enter into the light again. And I absolutely cannot wait.

I love you all so, so much. And would love your thoughts below. I am going to miss podcasting during this time but I will be releasing an episode with more detail about why I made this decision and what to expect, sometime in the next few weeks. XO

P.S. this is what I wrote in my phone while I was sobbing my eyes out all weekend:

wellness is sobbing on the bathroom floor, saying no to everything that won’t further your healing (no matter how hard it is), eating vegan ice cream for breakfast because your soul knows it will cheer you up.

wellness is canceling plans when you need to, consistently asking your body what it needs, and meditating before making any big decisions.

wellness is unapologetically putting yourself first even when every long held story in your head tells you you’re being selfish by doing that. it’s no longer worrying if people may or may not get it. it’s putting your energy back into you.

it’s not holding back the tears but letting them flow hard and fast. it’s wailing in the shower and not worrying if your neighbors might hear you. it’s mourning your old life because it was a damn good one and it deserves how much you miss it while also knowing everything will be okay again one day.

it’s asking straight up for what you need instead of resenting anyone in your life for seemingly not getting it. it’s laying in bed with your hands on your body sending your organs nice thoughts and love when that’s all you have to give.

it’s a fine balance between looking at old photos and videos and missing and loving who that girl was, and knowing that who she is and will always be is strong and beautiful and real and true and honest and good.

it’s sobbing and breaking down and hitting rock bottom and being okay with rebuilding. it’s being okay with things not being even remotely okay. it’s being okay with finally letting go and giving in and not forcing anything to flow. not forcing movement or talking or faking it in any way.

it’s asking for what you need.

^ and a hell of a lot more. More to come. XOXO

Preparing for Lyme Cavitation Surgery… TOMORROW!

Hey guys!

So you may have seen my Instagram post a couple weeks ago about my periodontist appointment and signing on for Lyme cavitation surgery, which is now TOMORROW.

I wanted to do a quick check-in with you guys before the surgery to tell you how I have been preparing (good info for anyone going into any surgery – not just dental!) and answer a few questions about the cavitations themselves.

So… before recently, I had no idea what a cavitation was. I had read over the last year or so that many people who have Lyme disease are extra compromised by dental work or anything foreign in their mouths post-root canal, cavity fillings, mercury (of course), etc.

But my dental history was been squeaky clean, or so I thought. I have never had a cavity so I don’t have any fillings, mercury, or metal in my mouth. I have also never had a root canal which I know can cause issues.

But what I have had are my wisdom teeth removed. When I was about 17 or 18 I had all four wisdom teeth removed, and all four of them were impacted (meaning under the bone). The recovery from the surgery at that time was pretty easy — I used the cleaning tools they sent me home with, avoided the foods they said to, and remember being out with my friends just a few nights later.

Well… it turns out those wisdom teeth sites did not heal properly. So over the last 10ish years, bacteria and toxins have made a home there.

A few months ago (ever since I did an NAD IV that I posted about on Instagram…) I have been INTENSE, UNRELENTING jaw pain. Sometimes so intense that it hurts to talk. It keeps me up at night, causes migraines, and even affects the low impact workouts that I do like long walks and steep hikes. (I don’t do any high impact workouts at the moment but it would DEFINITELY be irritated with those.)

About a month ago I found myself chatting with my nurse Amber about my jaw pain. Amber has Lyme too and we have a lot of the same symptoms, and being a nurse (and a patient!) she is super knowledge on all things Lyme and co-infections. She started talking about cavitations and how I should get them checked out and how almost all Lyme patients who have had any mouth surgeries have these cavitation issues and BOOM — it all made sense.

So my amazing doctor, Dr. Erica Lehman, who I text with on the daily, told me to reach out to Dr. Sanda Moldovan in Beverly Hills. She is a periodontist so she works with the gums, bones, and nerves around the teeth.

We did an X-Ray in her office and within minutes she was telling me that I have a heavy load of toxins in not one, not two… but ALL FOUR wisdom teeth removal sites. In fact, there are tiny little holes in my jaw from the toxins eating away at the bone.

PAINFUL. SCARY. Also… thank goodness we found it because my jaw pain would have only gotten worse.

(And for all wondering if I have TMJ, yes, I also have that and the cavitations have made things a whole lot worse.)

Once the toxins are out and the sites are cleaned (with ozone and more- more info coming on this post-surgery), the toxins will be sent for a biopsy to determine if they are in fact Lyme, mold, parasites, etc.

Surgery Prep //

The surgery itself is comparable to other oral surgeries, but will be a bit more intense because as a Lyme patient I will be HEAVILY detoxing from the toxins in my mouth.

I already detox heavily on a daily basis. My body is toxic from the toxic load of Lyme, mold, parasites, heavy metals, and then some.

So prepping for the surgery and planning for detox afterward is key.

What I have been doing this week is…

+ chewing king chlorella (6 tabs, 2x a day) which will help bind to and sop up the toxins pre and post surgery (I have added my favorite one to the medical section of my Amazon shop page!)

+ sitting in the sauna once or twice a day – I have a Clearlight sauna at home, you can use the code BLONDE at healwithheat.com for a big discount on a home sauna, or the code BLONDE at Sunlighten for a big discount on their saunas. If it’s not feasible to have a sauna in your home, find a place in your area where you can sweat or start SWEATING the toxins out pre or post surgery

+ Myers Cocktail IVs & Glutathione injections – I have scheduled vitamin drips and Glutathione injections for right after the surgery and for the 3 days post-surgery to make sure I am boosting my immune system to support in the healing and detoxing.

+ Taking binders like charcoal, bentonite clay, and pectin (even apples are great for this!) to bind to toxins pre and post surgery

+ Getting tons of rest (big one)

+ Meditating daily and envisioning my mouth as clean, clear, bacteria-free, and healed.

+ Upping my leafy greens, carrots and sweet potatoes (beta-carotene), and fresh green juices to boost my immune system and get all of the natural support that I can.

+ I will be getting stem cells injected a few days post-surgery to boost my healing response on top of all of this!

+ I made my daily herbs and supplements for Lyme to keep the toxic load down as much as possible, and have been even more diligent than usual about making sure I don’t miss everything. (3x a day all these supplements and herbs and tinctures is no joke… a full time job.)

+ Upping the herbs my body seems to love most — ashwaghanda, zinc, ionic minerals, tulsi, turmeric — anti-inflammatory and great for healing

+ ARNICA! I have a homeopathic arnica tincture here that I will use for anti-inflammatory purposes post surgery.

+ I got a cupping massage yesterday to pull toxins to the surface and make sure I am hydrating majorly extra to get them all out — I want to go into the surgery as detoxed as I possibly can to prepare my body for the overload on its way.

+ Daily coffee enemas (read more here), & weekly colonics to keep the detoxing going strong

+ Post surgery I will be upping my fresh cold-pressed JUICE game like crazy for more easy to assimilate vitamins, nutrients, and minerals!

& I have made sure to clear my calendar so I can rest and re-charge post surgery, which will be so, so necessary.

I am getting as much work stuff out of the way beforehand as I possibly can (which yes, can be exhausting in itself so I am trying not to get too exhausted on top of it all).

Toxins in the MOUTH have been linked to heart issues, breast cancer, unexplained weight gain, hormone imbalances, gut issues, microbiome problems, and more. If you think about it, our mouth is directly linked to EVERYTHING in our bodies.

Plus, with my body not having to work so hard to fight off the toxins in my mouth, my immune system will get a natural boost. I have a very good feeling about this surgery.

Also… my doctor is the same periodontist that Yolanda Hadid saw her for cavitation surgery, which I read all about in her book last year. Yolanda has been a great inspiration to me on this journey so I take this synchronicity as a sign from the universe.

Sometimes we have to get uncomfortable before we can heal. That is what the next few weeks will be for me, and they will be so worth it.

*You can shop my Amazon page here with a bunch of my favorite supplements, herbs, and home remedies. <3

Would love to hear from you below! Have you had this surgery? Heard of it? Have any questions about it? Thank you for your continued support. You guys give me a reason to get up in the morning. Truly. <3 Thank you for coming on this journey with me, whether or not you are a fellow chronic illness warrior. XO

Being a spiritual person does not mean being a doormat.

I have gotten some questions about this after standing up for myself recently on the blog (read yesterday’s blog post!) and wanted to clarify my point of view on spirituality and standing up for yourself.

In my opinion, there is a big difference between taking the high road and letting someone walk all over you.

Being a spiritual person means being in touch with your intuition, and your intuition never lies.

Being a spiritual person means acting from a place of ACTION rather than reaction.

And being a spiritual person means always being a pioneer for truth — the overall truth and your soul’s individual truth.

Standing up for yourself is practicing an important BOUNDARY, which is the pinnacle of spirituality and self-care in my opinion.

What I have found is that when I bite my tongue and refrain from sharing my truth, my soul gets restless. It feels like a bird stuck in a cage, or like a plant with no water. We came to this earth, to these human bodies, to express our SOULS. Our desires, our feelings, our emotions, our deepest and truest beliefs and longings.

This goes for large situations like the situation I was in with the media this past week, and smaller day to day situations with friends and family (or even strangers!).

Just a few months ago I was sitting on the beach with one of my dear friends and explaining to her that I was exhausted because another friend had been over the night before and I just couldn’t find it in me to tell that person I was ready for bed, emotionally and physically drained from the week, and wanted them to go home.

I told my friend all of the elaborate ways in which I tried to get this person to go home, including full on cleaning my kitchen, laying on the couch, and then going into the hallway with Hudson (my cat – hehe) for an extended period of time while my friend inside continued to have no idea what I was feeling.

Was I being immature and too timid to share my truth?

YES.

Why?

Because I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings! I love him, and I didn’t want to have to tell him to go. I wanted him to pick up on my subtleties that I WANTED him to go. Lol, the complications of being human. (And being a Reflector at that a.k.a desperately needing to recharge alone.)

So as I recounted this story to my friend the next day, she said, “So you basically did everything except tell them to leave?”

And we burst out laughing. Because yes, I had avoided the obvious. I had avoided my own truth. I bit my tongue, choked it down, and acted MORE rude I am sure than it would have been to just tell my friend that I needed to go to bed and had had a really, really long week.

That was a huge learning lesson for me (even though I don’t think the friend I am referring to had any idea how I felt and I am glad — it wasn’t their issue at ALLLL, it was mine), and a huge turning point. After my soul sista on the beach reminded me that I was just being silly and refraining from sharing my truth, and reminded me that whenever we share our TRUTH we are shown the people who really matter to us anyway, I was re-empowered to not hide from my real feelings. And most especially, to not hide from sharing my real feelings.

Now I think there is a classy, graceful way to share your truth. I think that…

a) sharing your truth must always be rooted in your intuition (if your intuition tells you not to share, listen – it is not about sharing EVERYTHING, but rather sharing the things that really, truly matter)

b) make sure you are coming from a place of action rather than reaction, i.e. not responding to something that irks you RIGHT AWAY but rather giving yourself time to cool off, think about the situation, and act from a place of kindness

c) be mindful of other people’s feelings in the situation, i.e. don’t attack someone to simply get your feelings across, because your feelings about a situation are always going to be YOUR SIDE of the situation — keep in mind there is always another side too

d) ask yourself, “does sharing this truth make anyone’s life better?” if the answer is YES (even if the answer is just YOUR LIFE, but many times it will be more than that), then that is a good sign, and also ask yourself, “is this worth it?” i.e. if this might hurt another person’s feelings, is it certainly so important to you that you’re up for having a mindful dialogue about it?

e) how quickly can you MOVE ON and LET GO from what no longer serves you? Do not ever share your truth to cause drama or live in the dramatic / chaotic state of life that we sometimes crave due to previous life experiences — share your truth, and MOVE ON.

Usually it’s plain and simple. Tell the truth, before any situation escalates to your blood boiling because then you might just explode, OR you might just hold it in for a long time and then explode at something random (also not fun, at all, for anyone)!

A Course in Miracles (Chapter 31), the spiritual text that I study and created my course based off of, says this about the Self: “This aspect [a concept of the Self] can grow angry, for the world is wicked and unable to provide the love and shelter innocence deserves. And so this face is often wet with tears at the injustices the world accords to those who would be generous and good. This aspect never makes the first attack. But every day a hundred little things make small assaults upon its innocence, provoking it to irritation, and at last to open insult and abuse.”

I don’t think that the world itself is wicked . at all (I think it is a beautiful place) but I know that people can surely be mean and many things about this human experience are not fair, or fun, or just. And it is true that every day a hundred little things make “small assaults upon [our Soul’s] innocence,” and because of that it is so important to be mindful of how we are taking care of ourselves and expressing our souls.

Chapter 31 of A Course in Miracles ends with this: “The world can teach no images of you unless you want to learn them. There will come a time when images have all gone by, and you will see you know not what you are. It is to this unsealed and open mind that truth returns, unhindered and unbound. Where concepts of the self have been laid by is truth revealed exactly as it is.”

My interpretation of that is that we are not the self-righteous “Self” that we create in our minds. We are so much deeper, so much more powerful, we are so eternal and so strong, we are pure consciousness embodied.

When you look at it that way, it makes it even more clear that if we came here to be expressions of our souls, so YES it is important to speak our truth but also YES it is also important to remember that so much of what we experience here is fleeting, and temporary, and is for us to learn from.

That helps us learn how to ACT vs. REACT. With our partners, with our friends, with our families, with our selves.

In essence, I take from this passage of A Course in Miracles that we as humans have forgotten our true nature. We have forgotten our Oneness, our wholeness, our eternal peacefulness as sisters and brothers.

I include all of this because I want to remind us all (and remind myself) that when sharing our truth, it is abundantly important to be kind and come from a loving place. If we are all One (which I believe we are), then a part of why we share our truth is to bring everyone involved back to a state of ALIGNMENT and LOVE.

I think that mindfully standing up for yourself requires a delicate balance of sharing your truth in order to bring all parties back to alignment and love, while also not allowing yourself to be a fucking doormat.

I think it is spiritual AF to stand UP and tell your truth when you’ve been bullied or slighted. Because even if the person (or persons) who has/have bullied you isn’t exactly being brought back into alignment with your truth (not immediately at least because they clearly have a different point of view and their own lifelong wounds), you are standing up for all who have been silenced before you.

When a kid being bullied stands up for themself, they are standing up for all the kids they know who have been bullied. It is a ripple effect. When I stood up for myself this past week, I wasn’t doing it for me and me alone. Yes, my soul needed to express itself. It wasn’t a choice, it was a duty. But I was standing up for myself to stand up for all of the Lyme patients, AND chronically ill sufferers, who have been silenced.

It is simple as that.

One day when we remember we are all One, we won’t be in this same position of having to stand up for ourselves in the face of cruelty or bullying or injustice.

But for now, here on this earthly plane, standing up for injustice is a spiritual practice.

Also, turning the other cheek when it feels right in your intuition is a spiritual practice.

Staying silent and letting someone else share their truth that you don’t agree with, when it feels right, is a spiritual practice.

Can you see what I am saying here?

Every situation is different, and your intuition and STRENGTHENING your relationship with your intuition will help you determine how to act in any particular circumstance.

When you stand up for yourself whenever it feels intuitively right, you inspire others to do the same. You also give the message to the Universe: I am here, I am proud, I am in alignment with exactly who I am, and no one or no thing can bring me down. I am listening to my intuition, to the divine creator, and am here to carry out the messages that need to be shared!

You can even stand up for yourself in your own journal, without sharing it out loud or publicly. YOU get to decide what it looks like to draw boundaries and stand in YOUR truth.

Standing up for yourself is a boundary.

Boundaries = spiritual self-care.

It all goes hand in hand.

Am I sharing all of this assuming I come from a place of perfection? HELL NO! I am human, and I am learning every day.

Do I blow up at my fiancé a little too often? YES.

Do I blow up at my family a lot too often? YES.

Do I share my feelings on social media and my blog after my feelings have been hurt without always taking the TIME to act vs. react? Absolutely yes.

We are all humans in progress. Humans evolving.

But I will never apologize for doing what I know is right — and sometimes doing what we know is right is DEEPLY uncomfortable. I hate stepping on people’s toes or displeasing anyone. I mean, as you read earlier in this post, I couldn’t even tell my dear friend to leave my house when it was getting too late for me!

Leaning into the discomfort is where SOUL LEVEL growth happens.

Leaning into the discomfort is where we have the opportunity to shift the injustices in this world – by speaking up and sharing from the HEART.

So all in all… it all comes back to strengthening our intuition, being kind, and drawing boundaries.

P.S. if you’ve been really bullied, torn down, or really slighted by someone or a group of people, it’s okay to be mad, sad, enraged, devastated! It IS spiritual to be all of those things. You can be spiritual and get mad. You get be spiritual and deeply sad and devastated. It is so totally okay to be all of those things. And to express yourself accordingly. And then to stay in your high vibe lane and move the F on. Because after you share your truth, they deserve not one more ounce of your time.

Don’t let “spirituality” be another LABEL you live by. Receiving the few messages I did about “But you’re a spiritual person, why did you get upset over that article?” showed me that people still want to attach to the idea of spiritual people being ONE WAY. Just like not all vegans are one way, not all Jews are one way, not all Californians are one way, NOT ALL SPIRITUAL PEOPLE are one way.

Spiritual people can get mad, sad, drink alcohol, or be sober! They can share from the heart and be crusaders of truth or choose to live a life off the beaten path and largely in silence!

They get to decide who they are. Each and every one of us gets to decide who we are and how we express our souls wrapped in skin.

Also… being spiritual means feeling it ALL. I am so happy to be able to share my truth and then let go, let live, and move forward. Which is exactly what I am doing!

Love you guys. Heading into my cavitation surgery on TUESDAY ahhh I am so ready! Leave any questions about that or this post below. XO

My Response to, “What Happens When Lyme disease Becomes an Identity”

Let me start this post by saying that I write this from a place of love in my heart and I am fueled by inspiration and support from the millions of people suffering with Lyme disease, a handful of which I have the chance to interact with on a daily basis.

I am not a hateful or an angry person – if you know me, or listen to my podcast, or read this blog, then you know I am actually the exact opposite.

I also make a huge point not to dwell on the negative in any situation, and after being slaughtered by the media years ago for my journey in and out of veganism, there are very FEW things the media can say or do that have the ability to affect my heart on a deep level.

What I will say is, when you mess with a disease that I suffer with every day of my life, that is killing people, paralyzing people, stripping them of everything they deserve in life and affecting their families/spouses/friends and then some, you’ve got another thing coming.

You do not fucking mess with that and get away with it. Mess with me, I will turn the other cheek. I am stronger than that. I have a happiness and a joy that exists inside of me all of the time ALL ON MY OWN, and it is absolutely fucking unshakeable. Mess with the disease I suffer from and the millions of people who struggle to have their voices heard due to this disease, and I will speak up. EVERY time.

NY Magazine, The Cut, Molly Fischer, who I spoke to on the phone at length, I am looking at you.

To give a little context for those who are not aware (and if you don’t have Lyme or read NY Mag, why would you be?), a few weeks ago I was asked to participate in a story for NY Mag & The Cut about Lyme disease.

Of course my immediate answer was a yes. I know that the media has a tendency to spin things in a wild and salacious way, and I most certainly should have asked what the angle of this article was, but when given the chance to share my Lyme disease journey with a large audience via a large magazine my initial reaction was a yes.

My other thought was: Even if the media is not always to be trusted, I can do my part and share my story. My story can’t be twisted, because I will speak my truth and at least my piece in the article will showcase someone who has had their life ripped away from them by this debilitating disease. I owe this to other people suffering and it is my due diligence to raise awareness.

In other words, I am confident enough in what I have to say about this journey with Lyme that no reporter can minimize that. I am passionate about raising awareness for a disease I live with every day that is so deeply misunderstood. So yes, I will participate.

Cue to my conversation with Molly Fischer a few days later. I had only 30 minutes to speak with her because my energy is next to zero nearly all of the time, and I try to save most of my energy for the people in my life, my healing, and my business. I never take long phone calls, especially with reporters – but I felt 30 minutes would suffice for me to share enough about this debilitating disease, my diagnosis, and treatment for the sake of raising awareness and helping others.

The conversation was strange from the get go. I try to make a friend in every situation, I can’t help myself, I feel like that is what human connection is about. It was clear right away that Molly Fischer was not going to be my friend, or be even remotely friendly with me. No big deal, I wasn’t going to judge, I had no idea what was going on in her life or what her day was like.

I spoke passionately and in great detail about my journey. When I mentioned things like my water fasts at True North health center along my healing journey, Molly piped up. “Did your doctor send you on those?” “For how long did you fast?” etc. and I could feel the salacious journalist in her growing excited.

Then again, I am not one to shy away from telling the whole TRUTH. So I shared about my water fasts, well knowing they’re not what mainstream medicine would support in killing Lyme or any disease. That doesn’t mean they didn’t help me, or thousands of other people. In fact, talking about it in detail with her was rather irrelevant. Of COURSE the water fasts are one of very few things Molly chose to focus on when it came to me in this article, but we’ll get there.

On the phone we didn’t speak about my partnerships or my brand whatsoever, other than the fact that I shared that I feel Lyme has been a gift for me to connect deeper with myself on a spiritual level, and teach me what truly matters in life (which has been reflected in my brand in obvious ways).

Again, I could feel the thick energy on the line of a journalist hearing something she wants to hear. Spirituality doesn’t always go over well in the media, in fact it can often be used to sway an audience in the direction of finding the person in question unreliable because they are deeply spiritual (i.e. in the eyes of the mainstream, “out there”). I knew that was happening, but again I felt like that’s nothing I can’t handle.

Regardless of the strangeness of our conversation it always feels nice to share from my heart about this journey with Lyme. I do so willingly and with great honesty (too much honesty in this case, I see now). When we got off the phone I texted her (as we spoke on our cell phones) to thank her for the interview, thank her for covering Lyme disease, and thank her for including me. I told her to reach out anytime if she had any other questions.

I was met with a curt response shortly after, “Thank you — I appreciate your time.” I have interacted with a lot of journalists over the years. I know they’re not always or even often in it to make a friend, but human to human I think it’s nice to be kind to each other and that response (while not unkind, yes) made me uncomfortable.

I was thinking, I just poured my HEART OUT to this woman, and this response, in response to my gushing text of gratitude, falls flat. But AGAIN, no big deal. I understand not everyone texts or even speaks as effusively as I do.

Important to note, I have worked with huge journalists for Good Morning America, The Today Show, and more who I have become incredibly close with. It doesn’t matter how you meet someone, when someone shares their soul with you, and tells you their story, you have a connection. A bond. ESPECIALLY when someone pours their heart out about a debilitating disease they are living with. NOT the case with Molly.

Also, since I read energy and feel extremely in tune with other people’s energy, it wasn’t her words that rubbed me the wrong way. It was the delivery and the negative energy behind them. It was the all around refusal to open up a friendly dialogue that made me feel like maybe this wasn’t going to be so great or even halfway decent after all.

Journalists who refuse to open a friendly dialogue sometimes do so because they know their angle before they’ve even spoken to you. They are going to twist your words, pigeonhole you, and make you sound like an idiot. Why be friendly to someone who you are only speaking to so you can use them in a ploy to further your agenda?

After our conversation I didn’t think much about the article. I am busy living my life, trying to heal, preparing for my wedding, preparing for my Lyme cavitation surgery next week, you know… doing my best to live and keep it all together even though I feel every day like I am absolutely dying.

Most days I can’t even get out of bed to walk to the kitchen, but apparently journalists like Molly couldn’t give two shits about my symptoms or anything about the actuality of me living with Lyme disease, even after speaking to her about it at length.

Then came the “fact checking”…

Then I started speaking to the fact checker for the piece, Jordan Larson. We spoke on the phone just last week. MULTIPLE things she “fact checked” with me that I was very clear to tell her not to use, 100% ended up in the article.

In fact, everything I made clear not to focus on in the article were the ONLY parts about me that ended up in the article.

For one, she asked me about veganism and orthorexia. (First of all, that tired old topic OH MY GOD – it was 6 freaking years ago and I was 22 and barely knew who I was as a human. It’s still the only thing the salacious journalists care about in regards to me and my expansive, accomplished, interesting life. Important to note, great journalists are keen to focus on truthful subjects in my life, which yes, are still INTERESTING.)

I told Jordan Larson VERY clearly that by no means did veganism cause orthorexia. I told her very clearly that if they were to write that, they would be like all of the media outlets who falsely wrote and said that about me for years and that it was completely, 100% untrue.

I also wondered, why is this even coming up? Of course now I see it was coming up because Molly chose to focus on me shifting my brand from The Blonde Vegan to The Balanced Blonde and transitioning from veganism in order to make me look unreliable. A girl with an eating disorder now has Lyme disease, ta da! Of course she is making it all up for attention.

Gag me. Now. Oh my god.

The second thing Jordan asked me about to fact check was whether Target is one of my sponsors. I said no, they are not. We worked together one time, but I have a big range of longterm sponsors who are actual sponsors of my brand. One-off partnerships are not considered sponsors of my brand, and they are especially not one of my sponsors because the partnership was not even with Target, it was with Who What Wear’s brand JoyLab that is sold at Target.

So after explaining that… BOOM. What ends up in the magazine? “Lyme has also brought the Balanced Blonde to a new audience. Instagram is home to an active Lyme community, and many of Younger’s photos are now hashtagged #lymewarrior; they receive hundreds of comments and thousands of likes. Target is among Younger’s sponsors, suggesting that perhaps Lyme content isn’t a bad way to reach wellness-minded American women.”

Truly sickening. Are you kidding me, Molly Fischer and Jordan Larson? You chose to include THAT, of all things? After everything we discussed on the phone, you want your readers to know that I have “gained followers” from having Lyme? That is disgraceful. I have LOST followers from having Lyme. I have lost tens of thousands of followers because my content is no longer active, upbeat, oriented around running and yoga and healthy food. You know, the things I built my BRAND around for years that I can’t do anymore because I have a fucking debilitating disease?

Also, I don’t care that I have lost followers over having Lyme and posting about Lyme!!!! THAT IS NOT WHY I DO WHAT I DO OR WHY I SHARE WHAT I SHARE. I am a human being, not a brand. Perhaps you think that receiving hundreds of comments and thousands of likes makes me feel less sick, less bedridden, more alive? Perhaps you think that is what matters to me, versus sharing accurate information about Lyme disease with the world?

But of course you instead chose to focus on my “Lyme content” gaining popularity on social media. That the hashtag we use #lymewarrior to unite the millions who are suffering and give us a community so we don’t feel so god damn alone in our beds every day is something we do for show?

So yes, although the fact checker was well aware that I wasn’t comfortable with Target being named as a sponsor, and was well aware that Target is NOT my sponsor, that is exactly what was written about. Why are things fact checked if only to be ignored?

Among the other things Molly chose to focus on, INSTEAD of anything having to do with me having Lyme disease?

– that the top Google searches for my name are “Jordan Younger net worth” and “Jordan Younger age”. Writing about my net worth being searched is akin to her writing about Target being my “sponsor.” I read between the lines, Molly. You want your readers to think I am making the big bucks from this social media career. And guess what? I am. I know that threatens you for whatever reason. And guess what else? I have been for years, long before I ever got sick. And guess what else? Every dime of what I make goes toward getting treated for Lyme. And even THAT has been happening since before I had a diagnosis, because it’s impossible to live life or even get out of bed with this much pain and NOT get treated.

– “She also goes on weeks-long “water fasts” at healing centers. Her doctor doesn’t send her on those; she does them on her own, but she has met fellow Lyme patients that way. When you fast, “it starves the toxins,” she explained.” Even though she knows full well that I have done two water fasts in my life, and there are FAR more benefits than the out-of-context quote you pulled from me there to make me look like an idiot. Again, why did you even mention it? To make me look unreliable, crazy, kooky, not to be believed.

– How about this quote? When I said this one on the phone, I could hear the salacious journalist in her getting excited all over again. “I mean, I’ve said things to my family like, ‘Well, part of why I’m sick is because of the pressure that you’ve put on me my whole life.’ And my mom’s like, ‘Well, aren’t you sick because of a tick bite?’ And yes, that’s all true.” True, and when taken out of context again makes me look silly and in doing so, makes the suffering I have endured AND that my family has endured because of my illness seem trivial and trite. What about the parts of my illness I shared with you that actually have anything to do with having Lyme disease — you know, the subject of your article?

– Oh and how about this?! “Younger did ozone for nine months or so, and it always made her feel worse. “At first I was so okay with the Herxheimer reactions,” she said. “It’s part of healing. But I reached a point more recently where I really do just want to feel better in my everyday life.”” Again, taken out of context Molly you are trying to make ozone look like a treatment that doesn’t help people, when I fully told you that it massively lowered the toxic load in my body. If you want to use my words out of context AGAIN to make me look like I am a valley girl giving half-assed explanations of things, you are NOT BEING A JOURNALIST. You’re actually engaging in defamation and slander. Ozone is an amazing treatment saving lives, and because of journalists like you perpetuating this insane notion that it’s not, it is not covered by insurance which is why (as you wrote at GREAT LENGTH about in your article) Lyme disease runs people into the ground with their finances.

– The orthorexia component is so inane I won’t even go there. So irrelevant and yet another one of Molly’s ploys to make me look unreliable.

– “Lehman tells Younger that she has “every right” to feel bad (“which was so validating and exciting,” Younger says). It all makes sense to her in retrospect: her lifelong food issues, her orthorexia. “I was dealing with these Lyme bugs,” she says, “taking over my body and eating all my nutrients.”” This did not come from my conversation with Molly. This came from my podcast episode about being diagnosed with Lyme. And if the only words you took from that episode were that I was “EXCITED” to be diagnosed with Lyme, again you are being a coldhearted, defaming journalist. You know exactly what those words imply when taken out of context. There were so many nuggets of wisdom, truths about suffering from chronic illness, so many accurate points and insights about what it has been like on the long road to getting diagnosed, that were NOT included or even considered by you.

And there we go, that’s what Molly focused on about me in the article. Disregarding everything I spoke to the fact checker about (why did I waste my time doing that if nothing I shared was included or validated, Jordan?).

And then there is this…

“Spend a while browsing #lymewarrior on Instagram and what you find looks like wellness content at first. There are selfies, shots of food, talk of toxins, exhortations toward self-care. There are more extensive arrays of supplements than you might expect. Then the IVs snake into view. There are hospital gowns and seats at outpatient-treatment centers and surgically implanted ports displayed with pride. This is wellness predicated on the constant certainty that all is not well.”

That has got to be the most insulting, degrading, offensive thing I have potentially ever read by a “writer” in my life. WITH PRIDE? I am actually tearing up right now thinking about myself and the millions of others spending their youth in the mother fucking hospital, and being faced with sick, threatened writers like you telling us we are PROUD to be there.

You know what we are proud of?!?!?! OUR STRENGTH. OUR TENACITY. OUR ABILITY TO GET OUT OF BED EVERY DAY AND FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES. The strength we have every moment of every day is something you will sadly never understand, because it’s clearly not in your nature or DNA.

You’re right, we are proud of ourselves for the grace in which we handle our disease. Instead of killing myself or letting this disease kill me, I have decided to spend all of my money and time and energy on treatments and surgeries and medications and supplements to get better. And in the same vein, I have gathered even MORE strength and tenacity and grace and grit to SHARE MY JOURNEY PUBLICLY. As has every single person who has shared their #lymewarrior “content” (gag) in the midst of the shit they are going through every single day.

I thought that was all bad. I didn’t think it could get worse.

Then I saw the part about my doctor, Dr. Erica Lehman, a true hero. A board certified Tick-Borne Disease Specialist and board certified corneal surgeon. Molly writes, “…leads inexorably to the offices of Dr. Erica Lehman, a Beverly Hills ophthalmologist practicing as an LLMD. (Her biography lists fellowships in corneal surgery.)” That passive aggressive nudge at trying to dismiss her credentials is so palpable it makes me physically ill.

I know personally of several people who likely would have died if they didn’t end up in the care of Dr. Erica Lehman. I probably would have as well Molly, and you know why? Because I wouldn’t have been able to live like this any longer, getting sicker and sicker and sicker. It is not uncommon for Lyme patients to fall into depression and ultimately commit suicide because the pain of living this way is so debilitating. I could have seen my life going in that direction if it weren’t for Dr. Lehman. I don’t share that on social media because it is so personal and dear to my heart and would break my family’s souls, but guess what? You and your sick journalism have pushed me to that point.

And guess what else? Based on your article, you would probably tell me I need anti-depressants for that. Which is everything that is wrong with our world and our medical system right now.

What about my symptoms of Lyme disease that we spoke about at length, Molly? The debilitating fatigue, the full body hives, the bedridden condition I have been in for 2 years, the brain fog, the joint pain, the misery????? Oh yeah, you wanted to focus instead on me being unreliable and a social media influencer posting “Lyme content” (FYI, that is not a thing).

What threatens you about me being a social media influencer and blogger with an incredible audience of supporters? What intimidates you about people who are sick? What intimidates you about doctors who are saving lives?

Beyond the parts of the article about me and Dr. Lehman, the article itself is full of slanderous statements, inaccurate portrayals, and straight up passive aggressive and INTENSE discrimination against people with Lyme disease.

Friends of mine and massive inspirations like Porochista Khakpour and Lena Dunham were mentioned in an extremely unflattering light, and more inspirations and well-known figures in the Lyme community like Yolanda Hadid and her children were mocked as well.

Doctors doing amazing things were minimized. Doctors who are uneducated about the true dangers of Lyme were legitimized. Even Reiki was written about heavily in a way that minimizes energy medicine. (We won’t even go there. Not even fucking worth our time.)

The whole thing is truly mind boggling. Sick. Disgusting. Criminal. Hard to fathom.

So… why did this article happen?

I have some theories. For one, I think writers like Molly Fischer (similar to Apoorva Easdon for the New York Times just a few short weeks ago) have a problem with people who are chronically ill, for whatever reason. What I have learned on my healing journey is that everyone suffers from deep rooted issues, some of which they themselves are unaware of. Whatever deep rooted issues this writer and whomever at NY Mag were also behind this have with chronic illness and people who are sick, I do not know. I do know their issues most certainly fueled the fire behind this article.

Secondly, with the new investigation about the Pentagon potentially releasing weaponized ticks in the 50s, 60s, and 70s that would have caused the spread of Lyme disease, it doesn’t surprise me to see large media outlets like the NY Times and NY Mag banding together to promote the nonsense idea that no one is really suffering and that Chronic Lyme simply doesn’t exist.

As M0lly writes in this article, one of the patients who thought she had Lyme simply “left Lyme,” implying that Lyme is a cult, or a church, or a religion, or otherwise.

Similarly, the writer of The NY Times article about Chronic Lyme not existing, re-tweets things on Twitter about Lyme disease being a cult. This is the same woman who deleted her Instagram when she started receiving unsettling comments about her article. There is no pride there. No strength or grace. The kind of pride, strength and grace we who fight and suffer exhibit and experience every single day.

All of the above is truly horrifying and criminal.

As far as other theories go, I am pretty dumbfounded as to why anyone would want to portray the fact that Chronic Lyme doesn’t exist, or act as if anyone suffering isn’t truly suffering. As many have pointed out, Lyme disease is a fascinating yet deeply unfortunate epidemic all on its own, without these crazy spins on what it “isn’t.”

Also, as many have pointed out, only those as fortunate enough as Molly Fischer or Apoorva Easdon to be in good health would be able to write an article like this. Until you have suffered from chronic disease or watch someone you love suffer, or I don’t know, experienced basic human compassion on a deep level, you can maintain and even perpetuate these dangerous points of view. And I hope, truly, that they never have to experience this devastation and pain in their lives as many of us have.

As far as titling your article, “What Happens When Lyme disease Becomes an Identity,” it’s sick that you think we want to identify with being ill. Lyme is a disease, like cancer, like heart disease, like diabetes. Would you write a slanderous article diminishing any of those patients’ journeys? I don’t think so. (And I freaking hope not.)

I could go on forever. There are so many things wrong with this article. As far as my personal attack in this article, I will get over it. I appreciate the support so so so much and I want everyone to know that while I am devastated that my words were twisted and that I unwillingly contributed to this monstrosity of “journalism” (the furthest thing from journalism I have ever seen), I still feel unshakeable joy and gratitude for MY LIFE exactly as it is.

I don’t care about being portrayed like a dumb girl in the media. The media’s view of me means nothing to me. It’s that my words could be twisted in such a way to continue to perpetuate the dangerous and sickening notion that Chronic Lyme is not serious that really irks me and will never, ever be okay with me for even a millisecond.

Molly Fischer, you deserve zero more seconds of my time or energy. Of which I have very little of to begin with. It is also not lost on me that your fact checker, Jordan Larson, furthered this mess by keeping in much of what I said was not okay to share. (Isn’t that illegal? Maybe if it was worth it to me I would take legal action — but it’s not worth my precious time or energy or headspace.)

But this issue is not going away. I will not stop talking about the issue at large, which is that Chronic Lyme is deeply misunderstood. And for anyone reading who may have thought at some point during this post that I am just adding fuel to the fire by writing about this, then I can only assume that you too have never walked in the shoes of a chronically ill individual or the family member of someone who is chronically ill.

Because when you’ve been here, you get it. We are fighting for our lives. This is important work, necessary work, soul level work. I will always turn the other cheek when something silly or untrue is said about me, no big deal. But like I said at the start of this post, when you mess with me in regards to my Lyme journey, you are messing with everyone who suffers, and you will NOT get away with it.

Judging by the thousands of messages I have received since sharing about this on Instagram stories last night (yes that’s right Molly, I do receive thousands of messages about “Lyme content” because the amazing people who follow me are HUMAN with HEARTS and many of them have been there for 6+ years, long before I EVER had Lyme or any diagnosis whatsoever), I am not alone in feeling incredibly maddened by this article and the excruciatingly false ideologies behind it.

What I do know is this…

Kind people don’t twist people’s words to fit a certain agenda, ever.

People who have experienced the light, who live in the light, and who feel true happiness and love in their hearts do not spend their time writing slanderous articles about people who are suffering, dying, and living their lives paralyzed or bedridden.

Lyme disease is a growing epidemic and if we don’t continue to raise awareness and find more affordable cures, soon enough it will be impossible not to know someone very dear to you who has Lyme disease and suffers deeply from it.

When you have true joy and love in your life, nothing can touch you. This article is a blip on my radar. I share this post not for my own self validation or to make myself feel better after being slighted on the grandest level, but because this is important work and I feel it necessary to speak up for those of us in the Lyme community who suffer daily.

Joy and love are all that matters at the end of the day, and I am beyond lucky to have incredible support from my friends, family, fiancé, and so many of you.

The media has a clear and calculated agenda. It may have to do with the weaponized tick investigation and it may have to do with coldhearted journalists wanting to turn something very real and true into something salacious and “juicy,” or it may be both.

At the end of the day, I know that people who are unhappy make themselves feel better by telling themselves others are crazy.

To stoop low enough to regard chronically ill people as crazy for being chronically ill is BEYOND me, but it’s happening and it probably won’t stop any time soon.

We are stronger than this. We are stronger than them. We are kinder than them. We will rise above this, and only the truth wins out in the end.

Karma is a real thing. Luckily for those of us who aren’t slandering other people and their health journeys in the media, we don’t have to worry about anything but positive karma flowing our way.

I personally will never willingly speak to the media about Lyme disease again, unless I know the writer on a deep personal level and know that the angle is 100% accurate and well-intentioned.

I love all of you, and we will let this pass!! This will take up no more of my energy or headspace. And yes, I do plan on sending this directly to NY Mag, The Cut, the fact checker, and the writer of this article.

With that, my weekend will be full of love, rest, and high vibes. I have no space for individuals like Molly Fischer or anyone in her camp in my life. What I do have space for is endless love, peace, healing, joy, and eternal wholeness. I will heal. I am healing. You’ve only seen the very beginning of the “pride” I have in this healing journey and the miraculous things that will come from my full, recovered, healed self.

BECAUSE of this journey I am strong.

BECAUSE of this journey I have the joy and the great honor of speaking up for others who are suffering.

Most of all, I have the joy to tell my own truth. No one can do that for me or take that away from me. Idiotic journalists who share slanderous information only add fuel to my extremely passionate, joyous, strong, unshakeable, healing fire.

All of my love and then some,

Jordan

P.S. I have not linked the article because I refuse to support it in any way or further the views it may have received. But if you’d like to find it on your own, be my guest! It’s pretty easy to find. MUAH.

DETOXING FROM MOLD

Helllooooo to the most long overdue post on my blog at the moment: DETOXING. FROM. MOLD.

Ever since I shared my initial Lyme disease diagnosis & within that post, the fact that mycotoxin illness (a.k.a toxic mold illness) was part of what was wreaking havoc on my life, mold has been a hot topic in my life.

When I first started to experience chronic hives and eczema, which were horrible symptoms from Lyme and mold, and also the symptoms that finally lead me to receiving a diagnosis, I got SO MANY OPINIONS. ALL OF THE TIME.

I am so grateful for the opinions that came flooding into my inbox and into my life when I was sharing, even though that time in my life was chaos and very overwhelming. A large handful of people told me that the rashes looked like they were caused by black mold exposure.

I remember reading that, and thinking, “WHAT? How could MOLD be affecting my body like this?”

Call me uninformed about mold, because that’s exactly what I was. I couldn’t even wrap my head around the idea that mold growing in a building, or an A/C unit, or food, or an airplane, or more, could be affecting the inside of my body.

Now when I think about it, it makes sense. Our bodies are like sponges. If we are living in and breathing in toxic mold every single day (or even once in a while, depending on your immune system and your genetics) then of COURSE mold is going to start growing in your body.

Mold spores are tricky and deviant. They are aggressive and they spread like wildfire. That’s why when you’re exposed to mold in your home, strong advice is given to get rid of everything you own. Your furniture, your clothes, kitchen appliances, everything. Mold spores especially grow on WOOD, so all wooden furniture is pretty much unable to be saved. (You can always wash your clothes in Borax several times but that can be toxic in itself, so…. ahhh!)

When I learned that I had mold illness, I also learned that I had Lyme, MCAS, parasites, the MTFHR genetic mutation, leaky gut, and major hormone imbalances and nutrient deficiencies.

It all goes hand in hand. Mold doesn’t cause Lyme, and Lyme doesn’t cause mold, but together they are a toxic duo. They majorly flare each other up, and when your immune system is already compromised from Lyme, then you become a magnet to fall prey to toxic mold (and vive cress).

My diagnosis of mold illness //

I was diagnosed with mycotoxin illness through a urine test (the brands Vibrant Health & Great Plains Laboratory are what my doctor uses that I would recommend).

You can also get tested via blood tests and get your blood checked for the following: HLA-DR genetic testing, C4A, TFGBeta1, MMP9, MSH, VIP, ADH, AntiGliadin Antibodies, & VEGF (thanks to my girls @thedetoxingduo on Instagram for this amazing info!! My Lyme brain thanks you!!).

And also, 22% – 25% of the population have a genetic predisposition to being sensitive to toxic mold exposure due to the HLA-DR genes. The MTFHR genetic mutation makes it hard to detox and means that you don’t methylate. (Histamine levels also correlate with the functionality of the methylation process, so if your body is not methylating properly then your histamine can be out of control — hence my hives and eczema as well.)

So as you can see… a lot of people are at risk for toxic mold! As my doctor has explained to me, some people can be exposed to mold day in, day out and be completely fine. Others can merely sniff it on a piece of food and be sent into a toxic tailspin. As you can probably guess… I fall into the latter category.

Mold can cause oxidative stress, trigger inflammation, worsen immune function, cause uncomfortable and itchy rashes and hives, cause insomnia and brain fog and migraines/headaches from brain inflammation, and so much more.

I have really experienced all of those symptoms and beyond with mold. I have suffered from insomnia for as long as I can remember, and now with the crazy jaw pain I have been experiencing I believe I may have mold in my wisdom site cavitations that I am having surgery on next Tuesday!

Mold detox //

So! We are here to talk about mold detox! I have been treating mold for about a year and have tried so many things.

On the medical side of things I have tried everything from IV ozone, to rectal and nasal ozone (for mold in the nasal cavity and of course parasites/mold in the colon), to vitamin IVs to boost the immune system, to IV Rocephin (antibiotic), to Cholystyromene (a very intense mold binder that made me herx like crazy), to other binders like Binder Blend which is a blend of charcoal, clay, pectin, and more.

I have also detoxed my body with water fasting, juice fasting, a week at WeCare spa doing colonics and more fasting, DAILY COFFEE ENEMAS AT HOME (huge for me!!), colonics weekly in LA, infrared sauna (Use the code BLONDE at @clearlightsaunas or healwithheat.com, or at SunLighten.com for the best saunas!! Love both brands!!) and more.

What has absolutely worked the most for me has been: daily coffee enemas at home (you can read my full post on those here), taking a daily binder like Binder Blend or any charcoal/clay blend, daily infrared sauna (or however often you feel comfortable) in my Clearlight Sauna (code BLONDE for discount), my salt-oil-sugar free plant-based diet to reduce inflammation, IV ozone, Myers Cocktail vitamin IVs, jumping on my rebounder to get my lymphatic system moving to drain and detox more effectively, and SUPPLEMENTS.

Okay, so supplements have been huge.

I tend to follow the Medical Medium style of supplementation. He has been a massive game changer in my healing, along with my amazing doctor Dr. Erica Lehman. Below is some of what the Medical Medium advises for supplementation for mold. You can also check out his books AND most (if not all) of these supplements on my Amazon Shop Page!

Medical Medium Supplement Regime for Mold:

Zinc – foundational mineral that protects from mold and pathogens

Methylcobamin – A methylated B12

Hawaiian Spirulina!! It pulls mold out of the body, and is the most easily assimilated multi vitamin! My favorite is here!!

Ionic selenium

Magnesium glycinate

Vitamin D 3

Essential Oils: rosemary, thyme, bergamot, & sage (diffuse them in your home)

Nettle leaf tea (3 cups a day)

Lemon Balm tea

DHEA

FOODS:

Mushrooms

apples, oranges, raspberries

chaga, reishi adaptogens (head to Four Sigmatic & use the code BLONDE for a discount on these!)

So for me, diet, coffee enemas, Medical Medium supplementation, detoxing and binding, and overall taking my toxic load down by treating Lyme with my doctor, and now the surgery I am about to get on my cavitations are all making a huuuuuge impact on my mold detox.

I still suffer from insomnia, migraines, joint pain, inflammation, jaw pain, exhaustion, and more. But my rashes are getting better and I know I Am healing.

Two Delicious & Anti-Inflammatory Recipes for Your Weekend

The Future of Milk is Plant Milk! + Mushroom Coffee Recipe

My Health Scare, The Ultimate Rock Bottom, & Moving Forward

Preparing for Lyme Cavitation Surgery… TOMORROW!

Being a spiritual person does not mean being a doormat.

My Response to, “What Happens When Lyme disease Becomes an Identity”

DETOXING FROM MOLD

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Recipe Tiiiime!! & HEALTH BENEFIT TALK of MATCHA & TURMERIC //

TURMERIC TONIC BENEFITS //

MINDFUL MATCHA BENEFITS //

THIS BRAND IS AWESOME //

OKAY NOW RECIPE TIME FOR REAL!

TURMERIC TONIC OATMEAL DELICIOUSNESS //

SUPER CRAEAMY MINDFUL MATCHA LATTE //

Morning Adaptogenic Latte //

Rock Bottom & What it Taught Me //

Rock Bottom Itself //

Plus, upcoming wedding…!

P.S. this is what I wrote in my phone while I was sobbing my eyes out all weekend:

Surgery Prep //

What I have been doing this week is…

Sometimes we have to get uncomfortable before we can heal. That is what the next few weeks will be for me, and they will be so worth it.

Now I think there is a classy, graceful way to share your truth. I think that…

Usually it’s plain and simple. Tell the truth, before any situation escalates to your blood boiling because then you might just explode, OR you might just hold it in for a long time and then explode at something random (also not fun, at all, for anyone)!

NY Magazine, The Cut, Molly Fischer, who I spoke to on the phone at length, I am looking at you.

Then came the “fact checking”…

You know what we are proud of?!?!?! OUR STRENGTH. OUR TENACITY. OUR ABILITY TO GET OUT OF BED EVERY DAY AND FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES. The strength we have every moment of every day is something you will sadly never understand, because it’s clearly not in your nature or DNA.

So… why did this article happen?

What I do know is this…

When I learned that I had mold illness, I also learned that I had Lyme, MCAS, parasites, the MTFHR genetic mutation, leaky gut, and major hormone imbalances and nutrient deficiencies.

My diagnosis of mold illness //

Mold detox //

Okay, so supplements have been huge.

So for me, diet, coffee enemas, Medical Medium supplementation, detoxing and binding, and overall taking my toxic load down by treating Lyme with my doctor, and now the surgery I am about to get on my cavitations are all making a huuuuuge impact on my mold detox.